or something.

Take our cat, please.

Tumblfriends, especially New Yorkers, please let us know if you or anyone you know wants a kinda-mean cat.

Through an unfortunate series of events, we have ended up with this cat. We’ve had her for a little over a year.  We want to find a good home for her, but we also want to be honest about what life with her is like.

Basics: She’s about seven years old, spayed, and in good health. 

She’s also a giant bitch.  Seriously. She doesn’t like to be petted, nor does she enjoy cuddling or human contact of any kind. She hates other cats, dogs, and people who move too quickly or unpredictably.  She hisses a lot, because she hisses when she is startled, and she startles easily.  She will only acknowledge you if you annoy her or if she’s hungry. She will chase your feet, but not in the cute way, rather, in the way that ends with her biting your ankles.

BUT! She is far from the worst cat ever, and for the right person, could be a perfect fit.  Despite all of the above:

• She is a great mouser.  We used to have a fairly serious mouse problem, and the mice completely disappeared when we got her. She killed or captured quite a few, and then they simply stopped coming around, because they could smell her. She also eats whatever roaches or spiders she comes across.
• She loves to play. Even though she hates most things that exist on the planet, she has a soft spot for strings, hair ties, and laser pointers.
• She likes to be around.  Even though she doesn’t want to interact with you in any way, she has a curious spirit and wants to know what you’re up to.  She likes to be in the same area as we are, and does, admittedly, seem to be happy to greet us at the door when we come home.
• She is (anecdotally) relatively less allergenic than many other cats.  We have had several allergic friends come over and have significantly more mild reactions to her than they have had to other cats. 
• She is very low-maintenance. We have gone out of town for as many as four days; leaving her clean litter, plenty of food, and plenty of water. She’s a little stir-crazy when we get back, but she is otherwise fine, and has a low (though nonzero) incidence of spite-vomiting on our stuff if we leave her alone for long periods.
• She occasionally gets very affectionate when she is hungry.  You can leverage this to the advantage of your ego, which will doubtless be shattered and bruised by the astounding aloofness of this cat. 
• Dudes seem to think she is cute.  I am a lady, and I don’t think she’s all that cute, but guys seem to think she is the bees’ knees.

We don’t really like Kitty (not her real name), but we still want her to find a good home. We are not so eager to get rid of her that we will give her to just anyone, so please be sure that you understand that she is a lazy demon cat before you take her into your home. 

We do in all honesty believe that she is a good fit for someone out there.  So if you need a sweet-looking cat around and don’t mind that she will never love you and that you will have to pet her against her will, please get in touch.  If you convince me that you will take good care of her, she’s yours, and we’ll even deliver her and all her accessories.